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Listening for Health

September 30, 2009

Vincent Van Gogh (1854 1890)
Image via Wikipedia

My problem?  I want immediate gratification. But real happiness takes some work.

Spiritual growth is not for the faint of heart. I much prefer anesthesia – at least in the short run.  I’m glad I’m past the hard stuff: sex, drugs, rock‘n roll, etc.  But it’s funny, my current drugs of choice can be more deceptive.  Food, TV, mindless, eternal web surfing, sleep…

For several nights (weeks?), I’ve been sleeping like a paramedic.  We go to bed around eight or nine in the evening, I sleep for a good hour or two, then, like a misbehaving circadian rhythm, I’m wide awake.  Since I’ve been sulking in my cave for the last month or so, I just took this as status quo and stumbled off to my office cave to toil the night away. Read more…

Peaceful Easy Feeling

September 23, 2009

’cause I gotta peaceful easy feeling
and I know you won’t let me down
’cause I’m already standing on the

What could be better than an afternoon nap on a warm Fall day? The sunlight streaming through the window, followed by a gentle breeze.  It doesn’t take much to follow these sensations back to childhood memories of carefree afternoons.  It doesn’t take much more than a few peaceful, easy feelings to relive the days gone past. Read more…

This is My Job, Part 2

September 22, 2009
Photo by Leamington Malfoof

Photo by Leamington Malfoof

(continued from yesterday’s Part 1) Summary:

I’ve been a little off my game lately. Well, OK, I’ve been a lot off my game.  That’s OK though.  I needed to retreat and pull back a little.  I’ve been hiding out in my cave.  Even though I saw the unemployment coming – and knew it was for the best – it still hits like a ton of bricks.  Especially when I’m the sole support for three other people and two cats.  Then there were three surgeries in as many weeks – granted one of those was only a teeth-cleaning and minor cavity repair – it was still surgery!

Several weeks ago during my quiet time, I heard God saying to me (by the way, I don’t hear Him audibly) to take some time and rest.  It’s OK to hide out in the cave for awhile.  I thought I was slipping back into the abyss.  I was discouraged and broken – but God said I needed to recover. Three surgeries in three weeks, newly unemployed, the stress of the past year’s conflicts, financially broken, and ostracized by my spiritual community – yeah, I agreed.  I did need a break.

I needed that permission. As a fighter – a self-confident achiever – I was going to make it work.  But the God who loves me said, “Take a break.  I got it covered.

As I begin to crawl out of this cave, I am better prepared to face the fight ahead – it’s not over – but I have to admit that I’m not quite up to speed. I’m feeling a little tenuous about life in the great big world.  That’s OK though.  I don’t have to bite off more than I can chew.  It’s still one day at a time. . . Read more…